For lack of another word, sometimes there is an aura of sorts before the incident. Mine was always finding myself noticing sharp things that I'd passed every day and never took notice of. Another was an increasing feeling of being trapped with no way out.

What we choose to do in life stays with us and follows us longer than we wish it would. Although I wouldn't really call cutting a choice, who would want to do that, the backlash leaves us with unexplainable scars, and occassionally a miscalculation that lands us in the hospital. Studies in suicide have shown that there are only minutes between the thought and the action, giving little time to interviene. If you have any kind of aura, and can recognize it, that is the time to call for help.

SI generally comes from some inner emotional pain that we can't deal with. Instead of standing up for ourselves or telling people that we need help, we turn all those feelings around and let loose on ourselves. Somewhere along the line, you've convinced yourself that you are somehow worth less than other people. My guess is that you would never do to someone else what you have done to yourself. Regardless of how awful someone has been or what they have done.

I honestly don't know that SI can be overcome without help. It is a coping mechanism that sacrifices our bodies to save our emotional selves. Finding the underlying cause is not easy. It means opening doors that you have closed and locked long ago and are perceived as a serious threat to your psyche. It may not be the best time to find a counsellor to help you crack open those doors as your own pace, but waiting will only make unlocking those doors more difficult.
Don't be ashamed of what you are doing. It is no different than a physical ailment and not something you started because you wanted to. Society doesn't understand those of us who commit violent acts against ourselves, but that is their problem. The important thing is for you to see it for what it is, a physical reaction to an overwhelming emotional stress, and find someone to help you stop it.

Sam2