I was raped and and made to preform oral sex and the guy did take me out in the country and leave me. He came back but I had to preform in order to get back in the truck. Speaking about vaginal virginity loss well it was w/ that creep. He was careful not to leave incriminating evidence. There was penitration just not w/ things that could get you pregnent. It was just not a good thing to say the least.

Then I met a guy who was a drug dealer but he was the official first. You know I know drug dealer sounds bad but he was the most romantic, most giving, most concerned man I'd ever met. He still sticks in my memory as a super sensitive guy.

When I lost my verginity to him we missed around and he wanted to but was stoned. I told him that was not how I wanted my first time to be. He understood and never pressured me any. He thinked me for being honest and doing what I believed in. The following weekend we went back to his folks house. They were gone. He had cleaned his room, turned on the heater was so NOT stoned and we had sex then. He was kind and gentle. He made me feel loved, more loved then I have felt w/ any other man I have been w/ including my H. It was not painful, there was no blood, he promised that better sex would come that it was a learning process. He gave me a warm wet wash cloth and cleaned me off. (weird but sweet) He told me to expect blood, pain, and even maybe to feel dirty and need a shower even though I was not dirty. I saw him two more weeks. His grandma passes away and I stopped in unannounced to find him w/ his other girlfriend. I was hurt but I was ok. He was kind and gentle and I'll never forget him. As for him and the other girl they now have 6 kids and he got her pregnent the night I cought him. They are married and he still has a drug habit. Pot is his drug of choice. He is still married to the girl. Good for him. It could have been me who got pregnent. Think god I didn't.

Thinking back. I still don't regret my choice of who to lose my verginity to. He was a prize to be had and he was the gift to me and was worth every ounce of heart ache. I always got the dud, or the left over guy but I got the prize and he choose to share his life w/ me for a small time frame.