(((((Miswimmy1,)))))

IMO your above words are letting your therapist know you are angry at her. And, thats okay. She left you when you needed her, you depended on her to be there for you; she wasn't. She got sick, and went away from you. Underneath all this anger is the fear that she may not come back, and if she does she will reject you or even withhold the good feeling she gave before. She won't . You want to reject her first, because you are afraid of of not necessarily losing her, but losing the good stuff - the good feelings that she gives you. It's okay to want her, and to want what she gives you. Try not to fight what you want - take it in. Use it to comfort yourself. It's okay. And, one day you will be able to provide for yourself what she provides for you now.

I don't really know if it's appropriate to answer someone in this thread. You can let me know. If what I said doesn't help you or fit for you feel free to dismiss it. Hopefully, it might help someone else.

Take care of yourself Mis.