((((Torn))))),
Thank you so much for your helpful reply! I like your term malignant fear, because that is exactly what it feels like!

I do display needy behaviors, unfortunately, and that is what I hate about myself. I think I should be able to deal with it myself, but I haven't thus far.

Good point on if you think about it long and hard enough you will resolve the situation --- that is a lie, to be sure. I helps to think about things, but there is so much more..

I really appreciate your post, Torn. I also appreciate you I am glad you are here, I hope you continue to post. Take care.