I met with my ongoing T today after having met with a consultation T last week. There has been a lot going on in my life recently, and I ended up spending the majority of the session talking about that. Eventually, I had to force myself to talk with T about consult T (CT). I was really wary of appearing as if I liked CT better than T, though how on earth I would even know that after one session is beyond me.

I'm frustrated that I continue to have such a difficult time talking with my T. I'm so afraid of her judging me. That came up to an extent with CT too, but not nearly to the same degree. Obviously that makes sense, but just argh. Why can't I talk with people like a normal person?!

Every time (pretty much) I leave my Ts office, I feel disconnected and disappointed that I couldn't get myself to say half the things I wanted to.

I want to apologize too for never getting back to the old thread I started on this topic. Some of you gave me some extraordinarily thoughtful feedback and I ended up just feeling too overwhelmed to respond. Sorry for that