Hi.

My therapist and I have discovered that I am good at setting boundaries and terrible at enforcing them. I am trying to figure out ways to enforce boundaries in a more constructive, less reactionary way.

Right now, I generally have two methods of dealing with boundary infractions in a relationship. 1) I grumble a bit, but let it go or 2) I kick the person out of my life.

Clearly, I have a problem with black and white thinking when it comes to boundary enforcement. I do not see the hundreds of other options that must be available to me in enforcing boundaries. Invisible to me are the options that are reasonable and effective.

Can anyone help with this? Is there a way to remove this relationship scotoma? I really need to discover other ways of handling this issue. Is this in DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness? Or are there other resources available?

Please feel free to share how you handle this task in a relationship, especially with family members. Thank you.