Where do I start? I'm 28 weeks pregnant. I moved to another part of Texas to be with my boyfriend. I have 2 boys, ages 16 and 22. My 16 year old didn't want to move bc he wanted to finish school with his friends so he stayed with his dad, who is not a nurturing parent by any means. My 16 year old has had some issues, has gotten in trouble. He called tonight and begged me to move home. My boyfriend will not move and said that I can't take the baby with me that he will call CPS if I do because I have a 22yr old that has anger issues. I can't throw him out on the street, I won't throw him out because I'm all he has. So I'm left with the option of leaving the baby with the father and moving home. I can't move my 16 year old here. For the most part people have not been welcoming. I have no family and no friends here. I'm totally isolated except for work and my boyfriend. I have not enjoyed this pregnancy at all,how can I enjoy something I know I can't keep? I feel no attachment and no love for this baby at all. I hate feeling it move.
I have at times prayed for a miscarriage. I know that I'm a horrible person. I'm being honest. I love my 16 year old more. I want to go home. How do I handle all of this? Please help me.