.... She would have changed and we would be together forever in bliss.

Then I said too T "but no that's not possible. To be just 2 people together forever in total bliss because that doesn't allow for those times when we need to be able to dislike someone".

T said "no but your talking about very young feelings of merger, and that's what you never had".

I nodded and said "yes, that's what I'm missing".

Helps to have words for our losses. We can begin to feed that hunger spot ourselves when we know where it is.