Quote:
Originally Posted by cannontide
Hello -
I can't tell you how similar my situation is to yours. It's really uncanning. I too have been married nearly 10 years and am in a VERY similar situation. Thank you for posting this. I've never been in a relationship with someone like my husband so I too am at a loss on what to do. I know I need to get out but I don't know how at the moment. To compound the issues, his Mother lives with us and she is even more passive aggressive than he is (if that's possible). I feel like I am living in a war zone. I look forward to hearing more about your situation and what happens as I am looking for any possible guidance myself. It's so hard to know what to do for our children. I wish you all the luck and hope to hear more. Thank you for sharing, at least I'm not alone.
|
I am so sorry you are going through this too! My house is no longer a war zone, but it is very uncomfortable. What makes it easier for me is that I've stopped fighting. I know he will be moving out in the near future and have accepted full responsibility for everything in the house and everything with the kids (part of our issue was that he would never take responsibility for anything). I decided to start my new life now, which means expecting nothing from him.
I did email him yesterday with a link to an article about passive aggressive men, one that describes exactly what my life with him has been like for the last ten years. I know it probably changed nothing for him, but
I needed to have him hear those things. I have no expectations of a response and definitely none of any change.
The hardest part of my whole situation is that I still love him and wish that I could "fix" him (my terrible fault when it comes to men). If he could deal with his issues and change his passive aggressive behaviors I know we could have had a wonderful life together. It's the most heart breaking thing in the world to face the fact that you fell in love with a man who will never be able to love you back. I am struggling to accept this, but I have good days and bad days. Reconnecting with old friends and the support I receive from my current ones (as well as the words of wisdom found here!) are all helping me move forward. Most of all, I have decided that I want and deserve happiness. I always knew I did, which is why my marriage was a battle ground from very early on, but now I know the only way I can have it is without him.
Thank you again to all.
