Hello,

Well, I have self-harm issues as well but I'm a hitter, not a cutter. Also I have fought with suicidal ideation since I was 12. I still have problems with my hitting, and it's not something I"m proud of. I'm working on it. For me it comes on with rage.

I think they are similar in the fact that they are not issues on their own. Self-harm and suicidal ideation are symptoms of a larger issue. Like a fever is a symptom of an infection. A fever is dangerous, but it's not the illness. Just treating the fever may help it to subside, like if you take a tylenol your fever will go down. But it doesn't cure the infection, so after four hours that fever can come right back.

Do you see what I mean?

I understand how you say you'll be doing fine and suddenly you think it. One small thing happens and that's where your mind goes. The key isn't just treating that, but all of the illness. It is probably a life-long battle since bipolar is chronic and has no cure. I know that isn't a great answer. But I do think it's a battle that can be won every time. I also think that fighting it can get easier. I know it's easier for me and I consider myself in remission for my suicidal ideation, because I've beaten it down.

But, that also doesn't mean I let my gaurd down. I know it's in there, and I know the consequences of letting it take control of me. I like to imagine that I am a warrior, like a knight in shinning armor. I'm my own knight in shinning armor, I guess. That image has really helped me in my battle.