Wow, Eskie, thank you, a lot to think about.
Well, I didn't go, I couldn't drag myself out of bed. Just couldn't. I slept all day,and am now here alone, freezing cold as I've run out of gas curled up in bed, sad I couldn't make the effort, hating myself.
The funny thing is he didn't bother to contact me all day except a good morning text, and didn't turn up to pick me up.
I just text him at 8pm and he just said he knew I wouldn't come, so he didn't turn up. I have let him down loads of times.

The question about him seeing someone else is way off. He is in contact with me, talks to me most evenings, if he was entertaining someone else, he wouldn't do that. There'd be gaps in communication and I know him. He'd be honest with me.

With what's happened with tonights date , who knows what'll happen now.
Maybe God doesn't think it's right we are together, but why did he put us together ?

I don't know how many, if any , more chances this guy will give me to see him. But I'm afraid I'll never get out of this bed again and get help.

Alone here in a cold, dark house feeling very lonely right now.
I'd like to have seen him, to maybe talk honestly.
Maybe he will give up this time. Who would blame him ?