((((Little Me))))) I could be misinterpreting but it sounds like you are spiraling down? I am fortunate to be in a really good day treatment program for people with depression and or anxiety. The people I'm in the program with are there voluntarily (not court ordered etc...). People from all walks of life are there in the same program. Really nice people that you would never guess are struggling on the inside when you see them. Every person's story is different and everyone is on a first name only basis. Some people there are known in certain circles and one person there who's last day was today has had experience with tragedy and dealing with media (I think of you when I write that). There are people out there you can connect with. Is there a hospital with a program near you that would help you with your particular situation?