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Old Dec 14, 2012, 05:51 PM
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BrokenNBeautiful BrokenNBeautiful is offline
Mental Wellness Mensch
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: I live with myself. Because that is all I can depend on. Everthing around me changes.
Posts: 3,439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maranara View Post

I hate nights.

"if you keep isolating yourself from others and wanting to be alone, one of these days, you're going to discover that's it's come true."

I know it's a momentary feeling, I know it will pass, it always does, but when it hits, it's completely all-consuming, so self-damming, and it just feels like it will never go away....and as hard as I try, it always returns. I give others advice and I don't think I'm that bad at it and the advice is genuine and from the heart, but way too often, I don't feel as though I can help myself.....
I hate nights, too. My obsessions and my guilt/shame and my racing thoughts take over. I am not working, either (at night); I have to force myself to lie down in bed or I will get very very tired and then sick again.

Also, several ppl I trusted told me that I would end up alone if I continued to practice isolation. For me, coming out of my shell is a slow process; so much baggage for me to deal with and so much self-talk that is so destructive. I will tell you what Ani told me: "Keep imagining yourself going forward and NEVER EVER give up!" I believe in you, Mara, the way Ani believes in me.

And it's easier to give others advice than it is to follow it. I know.

Carol
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The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!