Quote:
Originally Posted by Maranara
I hate nights.
"if you keep isolating yourself from others and wanting to be alone, one of these days, you're going to discover that's it's come true."
I know it's a momentary feeling, I know it will pass, it always does, but when it hits, it's completely all-consuming, so self-damming, and it just feels like it will never go away....and as hard as I try, it always returns. I give others advice and I don't think I'm that bad at it and the advice is genuine and from the heart, but way too often, I don't feel as though I can help myself.....
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I hate nights, too. My obsessions and my guilt/shame and my racing thoughts take over. I am not working, either (at night); I have to force myself to lie down in bed or I will get very very tired and then sick again.
Also, several ppl I trusted told me that I would end up alone if I continued to practice isolation. For me, coming out of my shell is a slow process; so much baggage for me to deal with and so much self-talk that is so destructive. I will tell you what Ani told me: "Keep imagining yourself going forward and NEVER EVER give up!" I believe in you, Mara, the way Ani believes in me.
And it's easier to give others advice than it is to follow it. I know.
Carol