Oh I am so glad to hear you got through this week Rose. I can totally understand the presure and now the exhaustion as well. But you did it and you observed and that is good too, very good start.

As far as your mother saying "I don't want to hear it" that is what people say that have "no capacity to truely care" Rose. They do that because they cannot go outside their comfort zone of "the ME, I world they live in". These are "self absorbed" people and they develope ways to "avoid". The other thing they do is, "not now I am very busy" or, "gotta go I have a customer" (and there really is no customer). My father is "always very busy doing something".

This is part of how you have to "observe" people and the kind of messages they give off, messages about "their issues/weaknesses" not yours or really much to do with you at all.

Oh the French guy with his "attitude" well that isn't your fault either, that is just "his bad attitude problem". Don't let these people "stress you" Rose, they are "all" charectors, nothing more. You have just allowed yourself to "absorb their issues" and that has never been "your fault" that is how you were "raised".

What you have to learn to do that can "help you" is start to think of these people as the "charectors in Alice in Wonderland". Actually that story has a depth to it that many people don't "realize". By adapting this "observing" what you are allowing yourself to do is "learn" and that is always very good for you Rose.

Unfortunately from what you have shared about your family atmosphere growing up is that you were around people that never "saw you" and that was "never your fault".
But, you were just a young child/girl what did you know?

People who grow up in a home with a highly "narcisitic" mother, grow up in a kind of stepford house hold. These mothers lack warmth and they don't make genuine contact with their children. They are not far from being given a "medal" mother with absolutely no warmth. What you heard today "I don't want to hear it" is exactly what these mothers do, what they always did, because they have "no true nurturing qualities" to them. And that is why you "hesitate" when you try to reach out with support here, I can see it, but I also know that you truely "empathize" you just never felt you had permission to express it. So, PC is a really good place for you to work on freeing that part of you up and getting more comfortable with it.

Also Rose, even though you struggle with your brother, he is also showing the end result of being raised by your "all about me" mother. So, while I know he has hurt you, have some pitty on him, he doesn't know how to "love and trust" his mother never imprinted that on him.

You are going to be fine Rose, you are going to keep learning, and snake charming, but you will learn that you need to not "absorb" the problems other people have and take that upon yourself. That is from your childhood, so you have to finally understand it and grow past it. And you will, it just takes time.

Lots of self care and patience. Keep observing and learning, it is worth it, good for you.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes