I know my request was a hard one. No one has answers. I understand. But I want to thank you for your hugs and show of support. I'll keep you updated with my progress. And Carol, thank you for your kind words. I've been so wanting to pull away from here lately. I don't know how to deal with your friendships. I feel like I should be alone. Relationships, even virtual ones make me feel uneasy and fill me with unworthiness and anxiety, but you're the only friends I have and I am very grateful to have you.