Because it's not a zero-sum game. Her being comforted doesn't diminish your worth, nor increase your pain.

This has nothing to do with your right to your feelings. Nor does it necessarily have anything to do with forgiveness, or even acknowledgement.

But feeling satisfaction in her discomfort does keep you tied emotionally to the struggle and distracts from healing, I think.

I'm not one who believes in the necessity of forgiveness, perhaps because I'm not religious. But I did have to reach the point of acceptance in order to divest from the emotional power that was holding me hostage long after there was active abuse.