Hi there. This is my first post on these forums. I've had major depression issues, along with other psych issues, pretty much all my life, certainly since I was a lot younger than you are now. I can oh, SO VERY MUCH relate to what you're saying here. I hear you and I empathize a lot. It all hurts so much :-(.

I've been on meds and in therapy for twenty years. That's how I've coped. Things still go downhill periodically, and generally that's when I opt for medication changes. In fact, I'm in a place like that right now and am on the hunt for a new psychiatrist, a project that always terrifies me endlessly.

I wish there was a quicker, longer lasting solution. I can only encourage you to get into treatment ASAP.