i really don't know how to word this, but... can anyone give me some advice on this:

i'm trying to enjoy christmas (yes, i know) i hate christmas time... and i hate the holidays, but i never wanted to be a screwdge- i'm trying to be happy and content

i know i've got my presents to look forward too.. and the christmas dinner etc... but i can'tt stop thinking about next year.

this year (2012) has probably been the worst year of my life... well, as the years have gone by- they've got worse.. but this year, i've seeen the remaining turrets of my castle finally crumble away to stone.

so i think what i'm asking is, how can i enjoy this month and all it has to offer, without constantly worrying about next year?.

i really don't want another year to go by with me getting worse- and i've so many thoughts about next year it's preventing me from any interest in presents or anything