sorry you feel like this... i can't really offer advice because my days are the same too (with the small exception of the fact i probably eat more)

i think the only thing i can really say is.. try figure out what it is you want from life, what would make you happy.. then do small steps to acheeve it

you mention about your long lost boyfriend... perhaps text him and see what he is doing?

if he's free, maybe you can invite him round... take a little shower, get yourself dressed and then sit with him... it does not have to be for a long time, but hey... it gets you out of bed- and talking to someone other than the people on these forums

i know how you feel- life really sucks and sometimes (more often than not) i just want to end it all and be done with this pain.

but you gotta think.... what do you want. what's keeping you alive