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shortandcute · Dec 15, 2012, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

I worry about my son being on disability and wish he could get off. My concerns are:

1. In the current political environment, I fear the disability will suddenly be removed at some point in his life. Not likely, I guess, but I still fear it. He's only 27, so he has many years ahead of him.

2. There's a stigma associated with it. I'm less worried about others stigmatizing him than him stigmatizing himself. I don't want him to see himself as disabled to the point that he doesn't make an effort.

3. Work is therapeutic. It gives us something to do. It helps build up our self-esteem and our self-image. It lets us contribute to society. It makes up feel successful and useful. It gives structure to our days and something to do with our time. It challenges us and makes us grow. It gives us social contact.

Those are my main reasons for hoping my son could get off disability. If he never gets off disability, that's ok, but I do hope he'll try.

Right now he's in his third week at a new fulltime job. It's very stressful. There's a high chance he'll fail at it. I worry about the blow to his ego if he's fired, but frankly staying home all the time is hard on him too. He's bored out of his mind.

Maybe in other cultures it's easier. A person like my son living on a family farm, for example, could contribute as often and as much as he was able without being overtaxed. Or if there were a family business he could work in. There needs to be some understanding that he will have periods when he can't take on as much. And there are times when he can function pretty close to normally.

I can certainly see your point. However, in today's economy it's extremely difficult to find a job as it is--employers aren't going to hire someone they have to acomodate.
And nowadays, you need a college degree to work at McDonald's, for cryin' out loud! So more than likely, if he got off of disability, he would end up with no income at all.
And, while it's true that work is therapeutic, you did mention that his job is very "stressful and there's a good chance he'll fail at it." Which is worse? At least having somewhat of an income, or constantly working at jobs that are too much, only to keep losing them and having no income at all? That's not gonna help his self esteem much either.
Perhaps he could do some volunteer work. At least when you're volunteering, you can get away with taking as many breaks as you need, taking time off when you get overwhelmed and doing hours that work for you.