good on u!!! and good luck too, i know it seems scary now, it did for me too b/c my problems had become a part of my identity and i did not know what lay underneath them anymore. remember that success is failure turned inside out, and just because u lapse and turn to ur ED one day it doesn't mean u r back to square one, instead take it as something new u have learnt about ur ED that u can use to ur advantage in the future