Thank you both. My doctor actually took me off one of my meds which made things worse, and now he is on annual leave so I cant even make an appointment to see him yet. Yesterday was a particuarly horrible day. I woke up feeling fine, and then all these thoughts ran through my head. Me and my sons dad split at the end of October and got back together a couple of weeks ago, but while we split he started seeing someone else.

I can go days without thinking about her, but yesterday I started to think things like "what did he see in her" then remember that she is an Ann Summers rep so she probably had all these sexy outfits and toys and I started thinking how he probably loved it. After that I just completely spaced out. I was breaking down in tears every few hours, I barely spoke to my boyfriend, I went through my wardrobe and threw out anything from Ann Summers. I just started to feel such hatred towards him.

And then I started to feel worthless, ugly, like if I wasnt here he wouldnt miss me, he'd just get over it and go back to her, like what was the point in me even sticking around?

I didnt tell him what was on my mind because it would only cause an argument and I dont think he has figured out how to deal with me when I'm having one of those days. He just sat there and *****ed about how he had come over for me not to talk to him.

I was still up til 12 this morning, sat at the dining table fidgeting, trying to distract myself because all I felt like doing was the thing we arent allowed to talk about in these forums, or smash the house up. I controlled myself thankfully, but I'm not sure I can next time.

Today hasnt been so bad. Still keep thinking about "her" every now and then but it hasnt stopped my day. I dont understand how somedays I can deal with it maturely, and yet others it either brings me to tears or makes me so angry that I just want to smash things.