I went to a pdoc when I was 22ish (one my mother picked for me from her "circle").

Pdoc and I spent time together and she was understanding of my history. My parents agreed to come to a family session and stormed out in the middle because they didnt want to hear what I was saying /sharing.

Later, I asked her,"is it me" because I still felt like I may have been the "irrational and crazy" one. The msgs my parents were telling me.

She looked at me squarely in the eye and said "NO."

My parents cut her out of their life and said she was crazy.

I am trying to make sense of this. It is scary to me. And I feel hideous.

A friend told me whenever she sees "ordinary people" it reminds her of my mother.

I think I need a second opinion.

My Pdoc yesterday said it was hard saying goodbye to some of his longtime patients like me. He even hugged me good bye. How could he care about me if I am this eff'd up? He has seen the good and bad over the years. I dont get it.

As far as the self injury and abandonment points, and aggressiveness and excessive anger, those dont resonate with me. And my relationships...had been fine up until my Fiance died.

I had been able to recover from every tragedy except for F passing away. That is when I really couldnt get back up.

I have a new T on Wed. I really need to speak with her about all of this.