but after the morning I have had I am feeling worthless, and like a drain on the system an it makes me want to cut.

for those interested i posted a rant about it in general.

I just look at the scars i already have and it makes it even worse. I think "just a few more small ones". It would make this horrible icky feeling in my stomach go away.

Being made to feel as if you are unimportant and just a drain on the system is really hard for me, because I really ttry not to be. I grew up on the system, so I know it well, and for me to have to go back to it took huge inner strength.

I dont know how much strength i have left. I have caled pdoc for emerg appointment. waiting to hear back.

Hiding under the bedcovers crying