Dear TanyaGrave.......
Because of my brain injury, and memory loss....I have been to a lot of therapy.....different kinds.....3 times a week for 5 years at least.......

I remember one therapist saying.....it doesn't work if you do not participate......

There were times that my husband went, also.....that was often upsetting, because my husband would not be truthful to the therapist.....he didn't want to examine himself too closely, either......

You can't make someone go to therapy if they don't want to......

BUT............You can go to therapy and address how these things affect you.....and learn the responses to make when issues arrive that can help the both of you......does that make sense.....

My sister had a lot of trouble with her sons....they would not participate in the therapy, but I kept insisting that she go for her.....she changed, which in turn caused changes in her family......

My husband suffered from depression for a few years.....it was horrible....he would not go to a doctor, and he would not take any medications......

I researched everything I could about depression and how it works in the brain.....set him up with the FACTS.....I spoke with his doctor.....who was also a personal friend of his.....my husband would not take medications, but did take homeopathics.....I stood over him and made him take them......

I wished I would have done it sooner.....

I feel for you and your friend......it is that saying, " You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.".......maybe by going to therapy your Self, about these issures....they can give you tools to help your friend, help himself......along with making things easier on you......at least 'your horse' would have the bucket of water standing about if he got thirsty....

I used to take my husbands anger to heart until I learned it really wasn't about me at all.....my therapist gave me tools to help we respond when things got too much for me....

She even made me write responses on a piece of paper and carry them around in my pocket....because my brain for a long time didn't remember things very well.......

I am sendng a breath......filled with prayer to you and yours.......

Hummer