Hi. I can understand why you are feeling that way and I think it's wise of you to recognize that the path you are on here is leading you in a direction you don't want to take. It sounds like you are a decent person but you don't have the tools to know how to cope with your feelings when they get too big. It happens a lot and the good news is that you can totally learn to stay in control of your anger and frustration so you can begin to respond to problems in a way that is more likely to get the result you want to get instead of landing you back in jail.

If you're into self-study I would recommend DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) you might also ask your PO if there are any DBT groups around you. It focuses on emotional regulation, making sure you don't make things worse for yourself, and learning to have more control over your thoughts and behaviors.

There should hopefully be anger management groups that you can attend as well and they can be really helpful in teaching you the tools that will help you stay out of trouble and jail.

I hope this helps & happy holidays