Mystry…
I make a habit out of reading between the lines. Here is my take on your post.

Your p###ed off, there is nothing you love more than altering your perceptions of naked reality. And for some reason or another, that has gotten more difficult for you.

I will bet money that when you had a bag of primo reefer in a cigar box under your bed, or wherever you kept it, you thought about when you could spark one up all the time. You thought about it every waking hour of every day. You imagined how sweet the buzz was going to be. And at the very first available moment, you pinched one up.

Obsession.

Now something has changed and your mechanism for coping is no longer available. And you don’t like it. And you want someone…anyone to tell you that this world is screwed up, the people running your life don’t know what they are doing, you have been done wrong.

This world is screwed up, and maybe the people running your life really don’t know what they are doing, and for all I know, you have been done wrong.

But none of that changes the fact that you want that buzz above all things. And as long as we place access to our drug of choice above our sobriety, that obsession will never change.

This world doesn’t change Mystry, we do.

Richard