Sounds like this is a year you will be celebrate being over.

You can't be 2 places at once, and you can't be in the future. For some reason, though, you are not allowing yourself to enjoy the present.

I am guessing; I think it might be a mix of feeling like you don't deserve to enjoy Christmas, that you are punishing yourself - since this is your thought; and I think it is a wish for the future to be better - which is quickly diminished.

Maybe you could rearrange these thoughts into "Hooray for a horrible year being over! Hooray for Christmas things to enjoy as my reward for getting through 2012!" and a calm and caring "My wish for 2013 is that I hope very much that it will bring me peace and happiness and growth. I want to feel better."

You are right, we can't get back the past, but we can go forward and make the future better than the past.