Hammy, no offense, but you do not make sense... not even internally. The talk of dropping meds from somebody who not so long ago claimed lithium is better then limits on bank accounts and that you don't have all that willpower? After all the threads in praise of your meds... (and not giving yourself much credit for your progress even if others been telling you this), it doesn't make sense you'd want to drop it all.
I don't judge one's worldview... but you don't even sound like yourself. You're not consistent.
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So all day today I spent in the beading store, making necklaces. It requires patience, attention to detail, perseverence... I doubt a manic person would manage standing at a counter for a whole day making one design after another.
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I did make jewelry while manicky actually, so yes (of course it was the "I should study, let's blow the food money on beads and wires and make things, yay!", but eh). Not to mention work with beads somewhat falls into the OCD basket... at least for me.
Maybe it's your biological clock (I had that silly thing interfere with my "no babies" worldview... I swear there's babieeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzz switch in one's brain that turns off your values and rationality).
And as for not getting attached to your fetus... not sure you are in control of it. Even women who get abortion after absolutely-not-wanting-to-have-the-baby-no-way-in-hell... they get messed up... so not something in your control.
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