Can you ask your PO to get you into counseling? I think you need it. Just like "myopicdreams" said, you're a good person -- you're just having some problems right now, and need some help dealing with them.

You must take your medication -- I know you don't like it. I don't particularly like mine either, but I have to take it if I'm going to function! And try not to put yourself into a position with your sister where you're going to fight. Avoid her if you have to! Sometimes we have to stay away from people that drive us crazy -- even if we live in the same house as they do! Just stay away from her. She sounds like a trouble maker if she's a "cop caller."

Instead of having a feeling of doom, try turning it around and developing a feeling of HOPE. May of 2014 isn't all that long -- YOU CAN DO IT! I have FAITH in you!! I know you can do this. My son was on probation for 3 years, and HE did it!!! And HE had been in PRISON. So I know you can do this. Forget the doom, okay? Keep reading here -- and maybe you can help others who have problems. That will help YOU forget about YOUR problems. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee