The couple I know who had a baby after age 40 for them both are happy having their child.... BUT.... the pregnancy was really really tough, preg had to be ended with c-section prematurely, baby was OK so that was lucky. Here we have parental leave for a long time, and parent had nothing but caring for child for that time. Was still drained and sleep deprived all the time.

Both parents physically and mentally healthy. Still raising a toddler having daycare and back at work, they are both constantly tired and sleep deprived.

At that age you just are not the same as half your age. They are always tired, healthy and two very involved parents.

Toss in a possible single parent, with mental illness and busy. Can you tolerate exhaustion and sleep deprivation and still stay sane? It is hard for someone healthy. I've seen it. A preg can really destabilize you and sleep deprivation sure will.

I grew up with a mentally unhealthy parent. It was tough. Still I made it because the other parent was stable. Thinking about a baby without first being in a good relationship is not a very wise decision. If you would relapse the kid would have a really hard time.