I'm smiling but I'm still feeling stubborn and hurt. I want to move on but my body won't let me. I'm not going on facebook for a few days. I will just try to live in the real world and I will catch up on my french and russian study. I forgive myself and I forgive others but I will try to ride this phase out. I will let it pass. I'm trying to be happy but really I'm not happy in side. I am still hurt. I don't want to go on facebook to suffer, yet again, another phase where I hurt people and myself. I have been questioning my own religious beliefs. I do not know why we are here to solve our purpose or missions. Is there a god who wants to see us suffer? But anyway, I'm fed up with my emotions. I know I am mentally ill and I need to be looked after. From what I've been through, yes I need people to be extra careful when they are around me. I'm glad I have work tomorrow. Only two working days and then I'm off on my holiday break. Yay