Hope you're ok Hammie? Hope you feel the concern here, and not judgment?

This does seem manic, grandiose, obsessive. It makes sense biologically and emotionally that you, as a fertile female want a baby, but it does not make sense right now.

You're going through a lot right now:

1. divorce
2. custody battle
3. reuniting with your 20 yr old son
4. getting ready to travel to Europe, where you will see old friends and their small children.
5. planning to go back to law school
6. recently moved
7. new love life
8. the holidays
9. just had birthday
10. changing locks so abusive ex can't come in
11. getting ex's stuff moved out of your flat

These are all major and potentially triggering events, you may have even more going on that I don't know about.

What does make sense would be to focus on the current babies you have, even though they're not little babies. And focus on your health. It's like your plate is already full with 3 babies, but you haven't been able to be with them. But you could be with them a lot in the near future. You may think that a new baby will heal the heartbreak from the time lost, but it won't.

You have baby lust, and it happens - Venus is right, we have the omg babieeeez switch in our brain. It's so hardwired, but doesn't make it a good idea.

Btw, my best beadwork, sewing, crochet work was done while hypo/manic. You're medicated now so the hypo/mania could look different. I still had episodes while on lithium, just had better coping tools to recognize them, stop myself and not act on stuff.

Please come back to earth and be practical about this. Having a child is too huge a decision to decide like this. Can you take the mania test on here just to see what it would say?

I am beyond words so happy for you and your son. I brought my son home this morning from the rehab, so I'm about to cry in happiness for how your son wants to see you and the plans you are making to reunite, it is so beautiful to me.

But there's a lot of concern here from your friends because we love you dearly! And not judgment because we've all been through crazy stuff too!