There is a part of everyone who is already perfect and whole. It is just part of being alive and being human. The problem is that it is normally covered up and buried in other stuff so that for the most part no one even knows it is there. The purpose of meditation is to get closer to finding that part of yourself. When you start to see glimpses of it, they tend to pass quickly and to be difficult to remember - things can even seem to get worse, because part of you has felt how things can be better than the way they are. Your current situation can feel more painful in comparison. It is important to keep going once you get started. That is why some teachers seem to encourage people to think about it carefully before they even get started, to be sure it is what they want to do. Taken out of context, this discouragement can seem cruel. It is really because they know something about the process. Once a person gets started it can be a rough process and there is no turning back. The end result is worth the effort. At first you will have glimpses of how things can be better - and then more of the time you find that this is just how things are for you. Then there are glimpses of how things can be better still. Negative thoughts and emotions can seem bigger than they really are as you ram your head against them. As you move forward these obstacles really do become smaller, but it is hard to see this for yourself while you are becoming more sensitive to them. The way you measure your progress is to see how long it lasts when something does upset you. Maybe when something would happen it would usually have left you feeling angry or sad for a full week before - but now you feel better the next day. This is progress. Then when that day becomes a few hours that is progress. What you are learning to do is to bounce back from negative thoughts and emotions, even under the most challenging circumstances, so you can make better choices and respond in more positive ways. Eventually you see the part of yourself who is already perfect, and you see this part more of the time. Unfortunately we all tend to learn to feel guilty and to be afraid that who we are in our deepest places of our hearts and minds is bad. Society just seems to work better when people feel guilty and afraid; it is a way to keep everyone in line. This is not true. It can be a little frightening when we start to see just how good we really are and that is why it takes time. That is why it has to be seen gradually and in stages. It takes faith in the process to not rush things. It only works when you really do see it for yourself and it is not just an overcompensation for the fear that we are an exception. Everyone fights the process even as they work to push the process forward.