I'm 33 years old and a compulsively masturbating virgin who has never been in a relationship. While i look at women and find them attractive, i have always been almost scared of doing anything sexual with them. That would be fine but i can't seem to be ok with the idea of being with a man as a man. Quite frankly its just gross to me, yet its what i want to do most of the time.

I used to think about getting a sex change when i was a young kid, but I realized it would just make things worse. I sometimes think what it would be like to be a woman sexually, and i like the idea. I don't feel like a girl, but sometimes i feel like i have a woman's sexuality. I'm not hung up on what exactly to call myself, after all there is nothing more then "therapy" to help you at best cope with the person you are.

I guess what I would like to know, is how do i find a way to be ok with being alone forever? I have been my whole life, but lately its all i think about. It's not so slowly driving me crazy. My feeling is that i simply don't get the idea of sex, that i'm so sexual perverted that i can never be happy. That is something i'm trying to cope with as best i can, but i need to be able to have it off my mind.

Any suggestions?