i think all mental illness and suicidal behavior stems from perceptions of isolation.

do all persons who isolate from society have a mental illness? what about choice? can people choose to be non-social and physically isolate (become a hermit) away from society AND not have a mental disorder? i don't know the answer to these questions.

i know my suicidal thoughts and behaviors were directly linked to me feeling alone. i could not relate to any of my peers; i felt different. others were able to cope in life, but i couldn't. sometimes i isolated, sometimes i was outcasted, but both were due to the fact i am different than most people; i am abby normal.

when memories of my past traumas consistantly surface, what do i talk about? when people ask me how i am doing, what do i reply? if i say i'm not doing well, that may or may not open up a can of worms. if i do not tell the truth by saying that I well, then i feel guilt and shame and adds to the negative feelings. when my husband sees me dissociating and asks me "What's wrong?" what do i tell him?

mental isolation is tough to recover from