Shez thank you for your support. I do not feel quite as alone on this as I did at the beginning of this post.

As far as things go w/ my H. I am not interested in any of it. Not sex, oral (giving or recieving), kissing, none of it. The meds have helped kill my sex drive and I could change meds but that is so hard on a person. If my H and I got along better and I thought there might be even a glimpse of want, I would change meds in a min. But that is not the case. The past crap affects things as well.

I'm glad you understand and I am also sorry that you do understand. Because no one should feel this/that way.