Hi Unwanted,
You need to stop doing those things for him and let him do them for himself if he's not going to listen to your rules.
Kick him out of the house next time he throws something at you.
Your husband lets him get away with this?
I think he should push him up against a wall and have a little face to face talk with him.
I'm afraid your son is going to end up beating womem if he's taught that it's okay to treat his MOTHER like that.

He needs to be disciplined. Your husband needs to support you and crack down on this kid and teach him to respect women.
This is very upsetting and YOU'RE the one who's coming off like the villian which is the worst of it.
(((((Unwanted))))))