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I was thinking - I wonder if it would be helpful to have a support person with you when you talk to her (and I understand finding an appropriate support person may not be an easy task). I imagine talking to her right now is very difficult, and I also hear that she places herself in a power-over relationship with you. Perhaps I am mistaken and it isn't like that. If it is, it seems like you are in a difficult situation - it's lousy if you don't talk to try and resolve it, and difficult to work things out when you are being diagnosed and judged contrary to your own experience. Is it like that? is it different? is there more? Maybe a support person would be too much?
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