I am so sorry you are struggling Miswimmy. This is YOUR therapy. As far as OCD goes, I suspect that you were able to push yourself when you trusted your T and because you trusted her. I think that the most important thing to do now would be.to work on reconnecting. I wish your T felt the same? It is extremely difficult to function when your attachment issues are triggered, it causes one to be disconnected. gotta go, more later.