It does make since. It's no fun to try be be noticed then get no reward for it. In fact I get put down for it.

Can you start small w/ your H. You pleasure him completely. Then allow him to return the favor. Start vanilla and work up to a little less vanilla. If he see's what it does for you maybe he will like giving to you and how much you like it the mercy and power of his hands. I'm sure you will have to start small. I think sometimes men fear that we are fragile. My H had no idea until about 15 years into our marriage that gentleness is not always necessary. We can handle a little or a lot of roughness. Sometimes it enhances things. I wish he would have realized that sooner. I wish I would have told him sooner.