Hi Again Freeda,

Another thing I wanted to mention is that when you are undergoing severe mental and emotional strain, it is very hard to think straight. You said that you aren't able to process the "truth" that you knew before, particularly regarding the governing body. Much of this may be due to the anxiety and stress you are under right now.

In my own experience with depression and PTSD, it was impossible for me to fully understand my situation, and make good decisions about what to do do, until I regained a measure of my physical/mental/emotional health. . .until I was able, with both therapy and medication, to settle my mind down. I was not capable of making good decisions when I was in the throes of my anxiety and depression. I wonder if this is true for you also, as your thoughts seem to just keep looping around and around about the same issue. . .and you can't seem to come to an answer or conclusion you feel good about.

You've posted non-stop on Web site after Web site about this. You've taken into consideration dozens of different viewpoints. Has this helped you resolve your doubts and come to a reasonable conclusion about what to do? Or has it caused you more confusion and overstimulation than you need right now?

Can you set this concern aside just temporarily and focus on your healing? Once you are feeling more stable mentally and emotionally, it will be easier for you to reason on this situation and make a good decision. I'm talking about very basic stuff that may not seem so important, but that is vital for your mind and brain to function properly under stress:

Are you getting enough nutritious food to energize your body, and fluids to keep you hydrated?

Are you getting sufficient rest?

Has your therapist taught you ways to stop obsessive thoughts from looping over and over in your mind, either with distraction or containment?

Have you learned relaxation skills, and are you practicing these skills?

Have you discussed with your therapist whether you need medications to bring your depression and PTSD under control?

Do you have self-soothing skills you can implement to soothe yourself when you get overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions?

Can you accept, just for the moment, that you don't have all the answers you need, but that in time, things will become clearer?

I'm in therapy too, but unlike your therapist, mine does not blame JWs for the problems I'm having. She says that the problems stem from very early experiences in my life (childhood) that are unresolved. . .and that the current crisis involving the organization is just a "trigger" for the underlying unresolved issues. So we are working on the underlying issues.