I wouldnt say that this forum here is God based though i do assume people here do have God and faith in their hearts as a way of coping. Ive not been on this site for a long time but in reading many posts ive seen it as of poeple who are wanting and needing advice in certain situations or just needing to vent. I am 26 years and too am an alchoholic and recovering drug addict though without going to AA anymore. I struggle with communication with my fiance as he doesnt understand my mental illness or my struggles with past addictions. I have tried many of medications all of which you have mentioned and then some with all having bad side affects and no success. The e-mail idea you had in communicating with your wife sounds like a good one. I wish actually that my fiance would go for that but he wouldnt. We argue alot and cant have normal conversation as i sometimes just cant control what comes out of my mouth. Im not sure how to help you or what advice i can give you but i sure hope you can find something that helps. I never wanted to be on meds myself with all the struggles ive faced with them but i myself had to keep trying because without them i cant function. Oh and SSI means social security income or you could try for SSD which is social security disability. Take care.