Christmas is coming and my safety net is gone. I had to terminate therapy - how could I keep going after what happened? Even though it's been nearly half a year since that day it hurts just as much as it did then.

All I wanted from you was for you to admit that what you did hurt me. I was sure you would apologise - I was SO sure. We had such a good therapeutic relationship for so long - I can't understand why it changed.

I can't understand why in our last session six months ago you became angry at me again! You asked me how I felt and I told you I was upset that you were angry with me and this made you angry as well! Where did all this anger from you come from?

You know how much being able to talk to you meant to me - you know how highly I regarded you. You were like the big brother I prayed for when I was little and you knew that, too.

You have no idea how much everything that happened (and there was a lot more) has affected me. I miss being able to talk to you so much. I miss the therapeutic relationship we had before things went wrong. I try to keep a lid on my feelings but somedays, like today, I can't.