Hi everyone. I'm brand new on here. This is my first post ever and i'm already gonna be spilling my guts! But wanting help for this issue is one of the reasons i joined these forums. Hope ya'll dont mind too much <3

I've been with my current partner for about a year, and was friends with him before this. In that time, we've lived together (though due to an incident, he no longer lives with me but i'll get into that in a second), and things have been mostly okay, but i'm concerned that some of his behaviour is abusive.

The first thing that worries me is things he's said about my body. He's said things like he wishes i'd lose weight so he could show me off to his friends, that he doesnt like my stomach anymore cos it was flat when we met and it isn't now, things like that. It's caused major problems in our relationship because i just can't forget these things. To me, this is borderline emotional abuse. I don't know. Is it? or am i overreacting? I know its hard for you to get an idea because i havent told you much of what was said, but basically he'd just say negative things about my weight.

Also, he calls me names sometimes. He's said i have no value, that i'm an idiot, that i'm a ***** and i should %#@&#! off, etc. (I know it sounds quite severe but he never said all these things at once! this is occasional behaviour).

. . . There also was one thing that i haven't shared with anyone before, its a bit of a strange subject. One time, we were physically intimate and i so i asked him to stop but he didn't for a little while. We talked about it afterwards and he said that he wanted to find out what would happen if he didnt. He said he quickly realized that was ridiculous and then stopped. It didn't happen after that.

Most recently, the issue of physical violence has arisen. There was an incident where i kicked him in the leg (semi-playfully, knowing it wouldn't hurt him) and he slapped me on my back quite hard as i turned around to walk away. Later, i bit his fingers in retaliation to the slap and then he smacked me across the face. I was shocked of course, and he said i deserved it and that i in fact deserved a lot worse.

After this, we were arguing a bit, and i said to him that i didn't think he had the right to be rude to me considering the days events, at which point he said i was a ***** and i should %#@&#! off. So things got worse and worse and eventually, i took his belongings outside and asked him to leave (He said he was leaving anyway but didn't mean forever, he's said in discussions about it after). He said to me "I wanna *****slap you SO bad right now, come here!" He was approaching me at this stage and i just bolted.

Since this incident, he's called me names a bit because some of my behaviour is unsatisfactory (e.g. drinking and smoking marijuana occasionally) by most standards. I don't really know what to do. Lately he'll yell at me and call me names for ages and then apologize. It's tiresome, and it always happens again.

Now, i know it sounds bad but remember these things arent frequent. Is this abuse? what should i do? Day to day life with him is fine, its normal and there arent really any problems (except that being with him has severely affected my self esteem).

sorry to write such a long post. Please help!