I'm not sure I could start cold again. I knew my T from a class she taught before I became a client. I already knew that she could help me. She tried to find referrals for me who were closer, and I didn't want to do that. I didn't want someone I didn't know. It's only recently that it has even occurred to me that I have a choice though.

The previous T was also someone I already knew (a little bit - he worked at my husband's office), and the first session with him was intense and made me feel good. I felt like he understood me, and also felt really good because it was the first time I had ever managed to tell anyone about the memory I had recovered a few years before that of sexual abuse. All I told him was just that there was something, and that it wasn't a big deal, and he took it seriously, and it was like a very heavy weight was suddenly lifted off of me. I remember being happy for three days. Then I didn't get to see him again for almost a year. But I knew in one session that I wanted to work with him.

With all the ones before him, I never did feel like we had a good working relationship, but I didn't know that we were supposed to so I didn't know that anything was missing.

They taught in my classes that the average number of sessions most of the time is 1, so most people only go to therapy 1 time, I guess. That's hard for me to swallow. Maybe most of them are shopping around to find the right therapist, and they only give them one shot.

Rap