Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches86
I wouldnt say that this forum here is God based though i do assume people here do have God and faith in their hearts as a way of coping. Ive not been on this site for a long time but in reading many posts ive seen it as of poeple who are wanting and needing advice in certain situations or just needing to vent. I am 26 years and too am an alchoholic and recovering drug addict though without going to AA anymore. I struggle with communication with my fiance as he doesnt understand my mental illness or my struggles with past addictions. I have tried many of medications all of which you have mentioned and then some with all having bad side affects and no success. The e-mail idea you had in communicating with your wife sounds like a good one. I wish actually that my fiance would go for that but he wouldnt. We argue alot and cant have normal conversation as i sometimes just cant control what comes out of my mouth. Im not sure how to help you or what advice i can give you but i sure hope you can find something that helps. I never wanted to be on meds myself with all the struggles ive faced with them but i myself had to keep trying because without them i cant function. Oh and SSI means social security income or you could try for SSD which is social security disability. Take care.
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Thanks for taking the time to read my post. And your post is a great help already.
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles but it is nice to have people who may understand the feelings without the proselytizing.
I have found for me in the last year that following my own gut feeling on my conscience and investigating it rather than metaphorically and literally, running screaming into AA meetings etc trying to get someone to fix me. And then when the sheer terror of the last bender etc. had worn off I was left having to be around something that really went against almost all my base instincts.It has got me into a healthier place.
A good example would be having the courage and the correct way of addressing the poster who asked me to "have my wife go to Al-Anon" (i don't mean to pick on the poster who was trying to help but I have a very limited frame of reference for people here at the moment.
I have also made an appt.for my Pdoc to sit and tell him about going off my meds. Thinking about it, he really isn't missing me, meaning no phone call no check up etc. Last time I went off my meds was because I was using and I had got all bent out of shape because he didn't get anyone from his office to call me prior to me picking up. He told me it was my health/recovery and I am responsible.
So here's the thing, I am beginning to get some self esteem back I think. The idea that I had no clue how to get sober, that all my life I was trying and couldn't get sober.
Even today my T told me that I have got sober, I went into therapy. It is her(my wife) that hasn't changed. So she is still working off the same set of criteria as when I was drinking and using.
The big change in my thinking is the amount of time while not working I have spent on learning about the things I would get into such arguments over without the knowledge to discuss them.
It seems that the more I can critically evaluate, the less offense I take and therefore my moods are more stable and If I don't know something in a discussion I simply make a note to go and learn more. Before I would stew over the person I was having the discussion with.
I hope I can keep up with coming on here and posting. Thanks for the SSI. That's tomorrow's work.
Cheers,