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dalila · Sep 15, 2006, 04:01 AM

<font color="green"> Coming back to this because I so want to cut.

Thank you Myself and Rapunzel for your input. I talked with my therapist about it all and in the end she said if I was able to continue not to cut and was not ready to try the DBT stuff it was ok but I had to stand up to the psychiatrist about it. I have to have psychiatrist because my gp had tried everything he knew to do and with me still cutting [at that time] he felt I needed someone more aware of the choices for medications for mental health issues. I did talk to him and he agreed that I could decide for myself and since I was not cutting, he was not too concerned.

Problem is that I have used other ways to si – scratching, picking, and causing bruises and such. My therapist knows but seems willing to let those go by for now. However, they are not enough; I want to cut. I want the whole of what cutting gave me. At the same time I do not want to give into cutting. It has been a very long time since I cut last, well, long for me, six months.

I want to cut cos things are hard; my son had to leave the area cos his ex was trying to destroy him. I can’t have my granddaughter much – she is with her mother and her mother’s mother neither of which are worth much. With school starting, my kids are having some big struggles. My husband seems to be going thru a hugely negative time still and I am so tired of it all.

However, for me the capper is that these two doctors both want to talk to each other and I said, "Sure, go for it." but it has not happened yet. The suspense is killing me. The longer I wait the more I want to cut. I don’t know if there is anything anyone can suggest now but I hope that venting will help.
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