yes i do know you quite well

ill just be honest
i would like to continue it. because i feel it opened up my head. not cleared my head but opened up something.

at the same time i havent smoked in about 7 years and i didnt drink until i was 21. right now im drinking a lot - smoking - and my wanting to do other things.

i kinda felt like i needed to get it off my chest. i wouldve gone to confessionals but i am not catholic at all. it just seems fun.

idk my tendency to psychosis. its mixed like i dont understand im confused. if psychosis is voices and paranoia and muddled thinking then that would be me on the regular and mostly regularly now for some reason.

at the same time ive really given up on myself altogether i feel like i dont care so much anymore as to what happens to me. more on that later.