I'm really sorry for the reason you had to cancel. I said I hoped you were okay but you didn't answer me. You didn't respond to me at all, so I tried again, because so many of my messages to you have gone unanswered. Did you realise how hard it was for me to risk asking again (after everything)? I wondered if you'd received it. You had, and you were straight to the point. You had been busy at a function earlier and couldn't get back to me. You didn't say anything to indicate we still have any sort of relationship. I don't know when you're leaving the city and when is appropriate to text again. I guess I'll just hold on. I was doing okay holding on for longer than usual, but since you canceled, I'm not doing so well at all. I seem to mean nothing to you, and my concern means nothing to you.

I both hope you're okay and feel dreadfully sad that it was like being canceled on by someone who barely knows me...and after everything, I just don't know anymore. Once again, I feel unsure if I'm returning for a last appointment. My life has been on hold for ages while I try to ride this out. Is a tiny little bit of reassurance too much to ask for? Can you not give me any indication that you still know me and care about me? I care about you.

I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Just holding on and holding on...and then there's the Christmas break...and I just feel finished right now. There's nothing good left for me to hold on for. I should know because I've tried and tried...and waited long enough. I'm just done. All it would have taken was a tiny little reassurance, but I can't ask. It's too late. So I'll just hold on.